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I am still alive
Sep. 4th, 2009 | 03:53 pm
mood: 
contemplative
 The Wandering Mind Workshop | Associated Content Well, my First anniversary is upon me and I can say officially after one year of being married to my best friend of 13 years, I am still in love with him. What can I say, we just fit each other too well. Lots has happened since we last spoke, you and I. I've started a website for my artwork, see above. Ive also been accepted at the Mac Worthington Galerie in the Short North Art district of Columbus, I should have some links up for that soon. And! I've started writing for Associated Content, see above for this also. I like it, I can write about anything and if anyone pays attention, I get paid. So far I have only two published articles but, another is pending and I'm still at the keyboard (obviously) so we'll see what happens. I am really excited about the new Art gallery, I've got about 5 pieces I am prepping to list on their site for now, as soon as I get some decent pics. Then I'll start planning for a show. My kids started back to school this week so I should have a bit of extra time to get into the Autumn creative season. I am hoping it hits me hard this year. Heres a good image from a few Halloweens ago, if you like true ghost stories. Spectral Orb shot taken in Solitary confinement of the Mansfield Reformatory http://www.associatedcontent.comimage/71 |
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The turning of the tides
Aug. 16th, 2008 | 11:32 am
location: home
mood: 
content
music: pavarotti
 Feedback | ebay Auctions | Etsy Shop | ABU Auctions | Im happy...So happy! I know its been a long stretch since my last entry but I am back and things are good. the last year has been so full of change that it shocks even me. Since I last expressed my thoughts and feelings to you good readers, I have ended a long and dark relationship and found love again, unexpectedly from a source that was always there. My best friend. We are to be married on Sept. 6th. Also, Im back to painting again...YAY! What can I say, with love comes inspiration. On the unfortunate side, the artists group that I was involved in has become out of my reach. Since I had vanished due to circumstances beyond my control my email changed and know I can no longer contact anyone at WWAO, Ive tried. I really miss those gals and would love to find a way to get back in their good graces and become involved again. Anybody connected, please message me! I wanna come home! Just so you all know, God is still working miracles for me and I am so in awe! Love to you all...be blessed! |
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one subject? i couldnt guess....
Oct. 24th, 2007 | 01:15 pm
location: home
mood: 
disappointed
music: Blue October
Feedback | ebay Auctions | Etsy Shop | ABU Auctions | You know....I have a hard time expressing myself when things arent tough...expressing joy for me has always been a complicated process. I believe I just didnt see enough of it when I was younger, therefore I never learned how. I've had several things happen since my last attempt at expression in written form, several good, if not spectacular, things that are so worthy of being written down and shared with the world...or my two whole readers who may have long since lost interest. But when do I feel compelled to write? After an incredible eye opening trip to Mexico....no? After My home is saved by nothing short of a miracle?....no....When, oh reader, do I feel compelled? The answer is simple...when things suck....for as sad as it is true, I am good at expressing pain...practice makes perfect right? My whole being physically and spiritually bears the feeling of a large rock, full of Helium. Im not sure which sensation is stronger in me right now, the feeling that I cant stop a thought before it vacates my head and floats to oblivion where it will stay afloat til it begins to become too heavy. It will fall then as they always do to crash against my skull and leave a whole just big enough to allow more of my helium thoughts to escape, thus perpetuating the cycle....OR.....The feeling that no matter how hard i wobble back and forth, Im still a rock...I will not get off the ground unless someone comes along and puts me in there pocket for a while...I dont wanna be in anyones pocket..so....whats left but to sit here and keep thinking thoughts that dont want to be in my head but only escape knowing that soon, there gonna crtash back down again. I am bringing others down around me because Im a very viby person, I dont want to do this so I try to get them to leave me be til I work it out on my own, which I will do, in my time, I am after all a lumbering creature. For me, everything takes time. But Im surrounded by wannabe saviours and people who place the weight of their own sanity in the hands of mine. This is not good...for me or them. I dont wanna be responsible, I can barely keep myself afloat right now and spending energy on a false feeling so people will think Im ok only drains the resources I have to work with..another cycle...they are EVERYWHERE you know.... I wanna be ok...I wanna make others feel ok...and I dont want it to be bullshit when I smile, if Im gonna do it I want it to be for real. It will happen again, in my time....I screw up alot and for now thats something that ways heavy on my heart, but, I need these emotional vacations once in awhile to clean out the closet, without them I would be truly as insane and socially disoriented as everyone assumes I am right now. YES, I do suck...so does everyone else(no offense to you, but we are all human, if you dont suck once in awhile youre either A. not human or B. really good at lying to yourself...teach me!) and I just want the right to come to grips with that on my own. I have found myself in the position to break people, this is not a responsibility I ever wanted...children to grow up like me? Holy Shit man...I dont want this feeling for any of my offspring! Are they doomed...I think its inevitable, everything I try to do to make sure that they dont relive my life backfires....and I see so much of myself in them that I become angry with myself for ever bringing them into the world...I love them too much to want this for them and I knew it before they ever existed. My husband? What kind of wife could I be...I cant hold a real job and Im no good at the domestic arts.....Im self conscious and critical of others because Im too smart for my own good or anyone elses....I dont want it...I dont wanna notice how screwed up things and people are...I wanna not care...If I were so smart Id see the importance of NOT being so critical, dont sweat the small stuff right? Well, thats how sick I am...I do know...and I cant stop myself anyway....When will this end...when I let go? I wanna let go...but something in me holds on...I know in my heart that I cant screw things up bad enough that God Almighty cannot not fix them and save me from myself...I know this...and yet I brood. |
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9 days...
Jun. 22nd, 2007 | 05:41 pm
mood: excited
Feedback | ebay Auctions | Etsy Shop | ABU Auctions | Well the time is drawing near...I leave tomorrow morning for the Church and after a day of training and team building we will sleep and rise to leave for the airport at 3:00 am....and then.....Los Angeles...and then...a bus to San Diego....and then....the caravan to Tijuana. Are 9 days enough to have an impact? Yes. With no doubt, the smallest second can leave a mark that never fades. With all deliberation these 9 days will change lives....mine included....and I wait for it with willingness and gratitude. I am gonna be a MESS! Hysteria hold your wrath, ive not a moment to lose.... |
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Miracles
Jun. 10th, 2007 | 10:35 pm
location: home
mood: excited
Feedback | ebay Auctions | Etsy Shop | ABU Auctions | I wanted to share something very special that happened to our family today. We all are going through alot of financial hardship right now and have been doing various fundraisers and such to earn the money to pay for the mission trip. Each of us owed $136 to the fund with only two weeks to go. Thats a grand total of $680 we needed to come up with, so we decided to have a spaghetti dinner to try to make up some of the funds. The cost of the groceries and supplies for the dinner came to $110. At the end of our dinner today, we opened the donation cans(we didnt set a price for the dinner, just asked for what could be spared) and counted the moneys. The grand total was $790! The $110 to cover the cost of the dinner and $680 to bring us paid to the penny for the trip! There were only about 50 people at the dinner, but that was all God needed to meet our needs! The Lord provides! |
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NIbblefest is Groovy!
May. 20th, 2007 | 09:28 pm
mood: content
Feedback | ebay Auctions | Etsy Shop | ABU Auctions | Hey all! Nibblefests theme is Groovy 60's this month so I thought I would list my drawing "Groovy" which won me a 6 month sub to deviantArt last year! All Nibblefest Entries begin at a pidly .99 cents so shoot over and check them out, just type nfac into the ebays search bar. And heres mine for ya http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?Vie |
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the same ol song
Apr. 23rd, 2007 | 12:20 pm
location: home
mood: 
blank
Feedback | ebay Auctions | Etsy Shop | ABU Auctions | I dont know what it is exactly, that makes the work I like so uninteresting to the viewer...I can spend 5 minutes on a piece, go "eh...tsokay" and it will ineveitably sell, and with multiple bids.....but without fail, hours go into a piece, days even sometimes....and nothing, no spark of interest from anyone. On Nibblefest even! I always get bids on nfac, but I remain one of the few unbid auctions after three days...subject matter is the issue for me this time around....its not the norm I guess. Im pretty sure it will eventually get a bid, but its a bit of a bummer to spend $$$ on a canvas and time in the art itself to give it up for a buck. My consolation is that the one who buys it, will really love it and feel they got a steal(which they will have, lol!),....aaah, such is life! |
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!!!
Mar. 16th, 2007 | 10:20 am
location: home
mood: awake
music: k-love
Feedback | ebay Auctions | Etsy Shop | ABU Auctions | ArtBloggin.com, A Directory of Artists Who I have found myself uttersly swamped! My house is a wreck, Ive got 2 commissions due and trying to keep up with the Marketing aspects of being an Artist is just insane! Blogs and Lenses and Listings...OH MY! Not to mention trying to come up with new ways to raise funds for the missions trip and trying to get in shape to dig and swing a hammer for 14 hours a day, 5 days straight. And I still dont know a lick of spanish(except what Ive learned from Dora the Explorer and uno momento bendejo(spelling?) which is totally innappropriate for a missions trip(or any other time for that matter, lol) to Mexico. So, my plate is full....Where did my appetite go again? I mean, its not that I feel overwhelmed or anything........God help me. |
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Workin!
Mar. 13th, 2007 | 09:10 am
mood: busy
Feedback | ebay Auctions | Etsy Shop | ABU Auctions | ArtBloggin.com, A Directory of Artists Who Ive been workin everyday! Painting like mad! Sales are picking up and I think thats part of it, but MAN! I dont think Ive had a streak like this in awhile. I go to bed thinking about work and I wake up thinking about work. I dont know how much I have in me, but I hope it keeps up, it feels great! Now...finding time for shipping.....paperwork...listing....phot |
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Nifty!
Mar. 9th, 2007 | 10:11 am
mood: awake
Feedback | ebay Auctions | Etsy Shop | ABU Auctions | ArtBloggin.com, A Directory of Artists Who Its a gorgeous (though cold still)day here, spring is trying, it really is putting forth some sorta effort to shine through the leftover dregs of white stuff. I think Im going to go for a walk when the sun reaches a bit higher perch and does its job to warm the roads so my feet wont freewze off. I have been wandering around the web in search of inspiration and thanx to one of "the girls" in the WWAO, Rebecca Grantham to be more precise (you can find her here,and as well you should http://www.rebeccagrantham.com/ ) I ran into a very cool project I thought should be shared! Find the Art-o-Mat here http://www.artomat.org/home.html |
